From the case of 'cancelled engagement because of 4 taels of gold dowry': What era is this, still dowry dowry?

Đã thương yêu nhau thật lòng, sao đôi bạn trẻ không cương quyết hơn để được về bên nhau - Ảnh minh họa — Having truly loved each other, why weren't the young couple more determined to be together? - Illustration photo

Canceling the engagement because of the 4-tael gold dowry is the story in the article "Gold prices are dancing, can we love each other and reduce the dowry?" that Tuoi Tre Online posted.

Had to use the trick 'cooked rice into rice'

Mr. Hoang, residing in Binh Chanh (HCMC), lamented that for a person with a monthly salary of 12 million VND and having to manage a dowry of up to 4 taels of gold and 50 million VND, it is really difficult. If you come from a poor family background, the difficulty becomes even more difficult. From there, he expressed his feelings and understanding for Dung's decision in the article.

Mr. Hoang himself was once a "victim" of the dowry custom. "If you don't believe me, just ask my wife. We really did it," Mr. Hoang laughed.

He thought that if they truly loved each other, why couldn't the young couple be more determined? Because more than anything, they were the ones who would decide the future happiness of their family.

No parent can bear to see their child painfully abandon the person they love the most. What they want is to see their children happy and healthy. "4 taels of gold and 50 million dong" is perhaps just a temporary action influenced by customs, culture, and narrow-minded thinking!

"I understand Dung's feelings, because I was once in the situation. It's very sad! But if you love each other and are determined to be together, there are many ways. At that time, my wife and I planned to move to the North to live in a foreign land, have children, and then let them know later. Let's cook rice if we can't negotiate with the family. Of course, this is the last resort," said Mr. Hoang.

Confirming the story, Mr. Hoang's wife nodded in agreement. She said that in 2016, her parents also insisted on a dowry of 1 tael of gold and 15 million VND. He had loved her for 5 years, she loved him because he was very hard-working, both of them had just started their careers and where would they get the money? So they went to live somewhere else.

They know that doing so will make both sets of parents very sad. But what can they do? There is no greater pain than when a couple breaks up, especially when they love each other very much!

It was not until the baby was born that they informed their families, and then they saw each other. The baby's first birthday was also a grand wedding for the couple.

Just make each other suffer

Although our country's economy is growing every year, it is not always prosperous. Is it time for us to re-evaluate our "harmless" rituals and customs?

Reader Nguyen Thi Kim Yen expressed that not only the dowry but also the wasteful wedding ceremony and reception, and the cumbersome procession. For a long time, people have called for frugal weddings, not extravagant ones, but there are no frugal weddings, only a few hundred guests.

"I think the State should also issue and guide simple procedures for the people. For example, the marriage registration ceremony at the People's Committee has full procedures and meaningful rituals. The dowry is too outdated," reader Kim Yen expressed.

A reader named Dili believes that nowadays couples are mainly independent. So the custom of asking for a bride price should be reduced to a lighter level. Of course, depending on each family’s circumstances, having many gifts is fun, having few gifts is also joyful, in the end it is for the happiness of the children.

"If you have to struggle to pay off debt after your wedding, it will be hard to find happiness," read Dili.

Huu Tho account expressed the hope that "7X and 8X in-laws will reduce the cumbersome wedding customs so that their future children will be healthier".

I lament the dowry that has been imposed for a long time, but every now and then I read in the newspaper that a young couple has to separate because of this custom. How sad!

Source