Husband and wife in modern marriage

Breaking old stereotypes

Sharing housework helps increase marital affection. Photo: THAI HA

Asian society traditionally places a heavy emphasis on the role of men as the economic pillars, while women are the ones who take care of the family and raise children. However, the increasing participation of women in the workforce, along with financial pressure, requires both husband and wife to shoulder the responsibility of earning money to raise children and keep the family warm.

He used to be the economic pillar of his family, but because of the impact of the COVID-19 epidemic causing difficulties in the construction industry, Mr. PT (Hoa Hiep Bac ward, Dong Hoa town) has spent nearly 3 years doing housework, taking his children to school and running a small paint shop at home.

It was not until early this year, when the demand for home construction began to increase again, that Mr. PT took on the project and started working outside. Mr. PT shared: “At first, this adjustment was quite stressful, but because I thought this was only a temporary phase, both my husband and I tried our best.

Adjusting roles does not mean completely reversing the positions of husband and wife, but rather flexibility depending on the situation. At that time, my wife had a higher income and her job required more time, so I took on most of the housework and childcare. Later, when I became the main breadwinner, my wife was also flexible in supporting and sharing."

In Mr. PT's family, changing roles to suit the situation was agreed upon by the couple, so both sides maintained a respectful attitude, without comparing or blaming each other. However, in many other families, redefining the roles of husband and wife is not always easy.

Especially in many rural areas or in families with deep traditional Asian ideology, women are still expected to sacrifice, while men still have to be the breadwinner, making life restrictive and stressful.

Share roles instead of assigning responsibilities

In a modern family, the roles of members should not be defined by gender, but should be based on consensus, sharing, strengths and specific circumstances of each couple. Therefore, changing stereotypes here does not mean denying tradition, but adjusting to create space for members to develop their strengths.

Affirming that marriage is not only a place for love, but also a place for companionship and sharing, Ms. TD (Tuy Hoa City), who has had a good marriage for nearly 20 years, said: “Each person has their own responsibilities and roles, but when living together, the most important thing is that both must shoulder and strive together, not put all the burden on one person. When husband and wife truly understand and are in harmony, supporting each other is no longer a heavy responsibility.”

On the Lao Dong Newspaper, psychologist Nguyen Thi Phuong Trang (The Sight Psychological Consulting Center) said that nowadays, in the UK or the US, it has become normal for men to stay home to do housework and take care of the children, while their wives earn money to support the family… The value of a husband is not only recognized when he has a high position and makes a lot of money. Knowing how to listen, share, care and support the family is also another value of a man.

Changing roles does not mean losing tradition, but adjusting from old values to new values that are more suitable for building a happy life together. A family can still follow the traditional model, if both are happy and not forced.

But it could also be a new model - where the wife works full-time, the husband takes care of the children, or both work freelance, sharing everything equally. However, to reach an equal, sharing relationship, family experts say that both husband and wife must learn to adjust their egos, remove prejudices and rebuild living values that are suitable for the development of modern society.

Marriage is not a battle of roles, but a journey of two equal individuals. When the roles of husband and wife are redefined in a humane, flexible and modern way, marriage will no longer be a burden or stereotype, but will become a space of maturity, sharing and true love.

Source: https://baophuyen.vn/xa-hoi/202506/vochong-trong-hon-nhan-hien-dai-a8d0658/