Live together for 10 years before registering for marriage
- It seems like everyone knows all the information about the love story between People's Artist Lan Huong and Meritorious Artist Tat Binh, so is there anything that you've kept hidden and never shared with anyone?
There is an interesting thing that I only told you now, when we are retired, about to become grandparents, and great-grandparents. After the first breakup and coming to Tat Binh, living with my husband, I had a rather funny view that I did not want to become a real couple. At that time, I just wanted to live together, because I thought that way we might be happier. So after 10 years of living together, we registered our marriage.
The marriage registration thing is also very funny. My husband asked: "So what do you think? We have to register our marriage too!" I replied: "I don't want to register our marriage, I like to stay like this. If by any chance you and I are no longer compatible or one day our fate ends and we have to go to court, it will be very complicated."
People's Artist Lan Huong and Meritorious Artist Tat Binh are affectionate with each other. Photo: Quynh An
My husband said: "I told you that if the house doesn't have both of our names on it, and it gets complicated later, you'll be the one who's at a disadvantage." When we built the house, I said that anyone's name could be on the house. So when my husband said that, I said: "I don't need it. When we break up, the house or anything else doesn't matter."
Seeing that, Mr. Binh told me to put my name on the house. Hearing him give up on me like that, I felt a little guilty. I had to give in: "If you do that, then you and I should register so that both of us can have our names on it, so that it is truly a husband and wife relationship and gives the feeling that we built the house together." So we registered our marriage in the late 1990s, around 1997-98.
People's Artist Lan Huong and Meritorious Artist Tat Binh have been together for nearly 40 years.
I respect my husband's hobbies.
- From the outside, everyone sees that People's Artist Lan Huong and Meritorious Artist Tat Binh have a happy married life. But those involved cannot avoid the bumps and storms in their marriage that outsiders cannot see. After registering their marriage, in the nearly 30 years since, have you ever regretted your decision?
No! I don’t regret it at all. I got married for the first time when I was too young, my perspective was still biased. At that time, I didn’t know how to sympathize or accept the other person’s bad points. My previous husband wasn’t really bad, so later I thought maybe fate just went that far. In married life, fate is also needed.
Living with Mr. Tat Binh since 1988 until now, in all those years, there have been many collisions, fights, and disagreements, but thanks to the fate of husband and wife, everything has returned to normal. We have never sat down to negotiate who should be this or that, but over the years we have still lived together. For example, I respect my husband's hobbies and always give him his own space.
He likes to go drinking with his friends, but I never complain: Why did you go drinking? Why aren't you home at this hour? I accept that he goes drinking, going out is fun and drinking is getting drunk. So even if he comes home and throws up, I'm still happy.
Or for example, he likes to smoke. Many times I say: "Dear, you are old and you cough like this, you should not smoke anymore." Binh only says one sentence : "There is no joy left now. I also know it is harmful, but now I am in my seventies, it is very impermanent and I don't know what will happen, so there is only one joy..." I quickly reply: "That's it, you can smoke but smoke in moderation, not too much!"
Binh loves his own children and grandchildren very much, so I also give him some space to be comfortable. As for his children and grandchildren, I do not interfere. On the contrary, he does not interfere. Therefore, our life feels like it is building up from day to day. It started out limping, then gradually eased and got into a routine until now.
I still tell the children: "My children, I only conclude one thing: Life cannot avoid twists and turns, but overcoming them will lead to a smooth shore. If we say that life does not have twists and turns, collisions and turmoil, then it is not family life. Every family has storms, some families cannot overcome them like my ex-husband and I. But when we overcome them, it will be wonderful."
With Mr. Binh's children, I still call myself Miss.
- After nearly 40 years of living together, you still call your husband's children "Miss"?
It is true that with Mr. Binh's children, I still call myself "Miss". The other two call me "Mrs." Our children are also getting old. My husband's eldest aunt is 53-54 years old, the youngest is 49-50, and my children are 43-44 years old, all of them are old. I only see that I have overcome all the ups and downs and the most important thing is that I have to accept the bad things in others.
Meritorious Artist Tat Binh is 14 years older than People's Artist Lan Huong.
Our life is not romantic
- Many people think that artist couples live more freely and romantically than normal people. So what about the artist couple Lan Huong - Tat Binh?
Our life is not romantic. Maybe I am a little more romantic but my husband is not. If there is any romance between two people, it will be destroyed very quickly in married life. Romance is just a little bit to make life more exciting, but married life is about food, clothing, money, children...
As artists, our lives are just like any other family, we have so many things to worry about, like the neighbors, the neighborhood, whether I get along with this person or not, and there are times when I am mean and gentle. Don’t think of artists as some kind of stereotype, but like all other normal people.
- Both of you have retired, and your old age, when you are no longer regularly involved in work, has that changed the married life of People's Artist Lan Huong and Meritorious Artist Tat Binh?
The older we get, the more we love each other. When we get old, we no longer have daily work, we only have each other, only love, and each person becomes the support for the other. I also never imagined that one day I would be over 60 years old.
(Source: Vietnamnet)
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