Forgetting an old love is easy to advise, but difficult to do!

Mới chia tay, tôi thường — Right after a breakup, I often "accidentally" wander down roads full of memories - Illustration photo: QUANG DINH

Over 20 years ago, I wrote a poem about my past relationship. At the time, I titled it "Writing for the Day We Parted," with words filled with heartache:

What if one day I no longer see you?

It doesn't mean a breakup or an end.

Life is hectic, but he knows what to do to prevent you from feeling awkward around other people.

Happiness is not something that can be easily divided into seven or three parts.

I will also try to forget those days.

That old street corner, I beg you every time you pass by that way.

Don't look back, lest you shatter the memories of the past...

Because of those poems, my friends ridiculed me for being sentimental. According to them, as relationship experts, I should forget about it and end it. A breakup means each person goes their own way. An ending means each person walks their own path. Why cling on and cause heartache? Why linger and make things awkward for both of us?

But feelings are like that; how can you easily say "forget" and stop remembering? I was entangled, longing for the old memories for many years, to the point where I thought I could shave my head and become a monk to stop contemplating life, so I wouldn't remember.

Strangely enough, when people face storms in love, they want to seek refuge in some kind of religious belief. At that time, they forget to rely on themselves, love themselves, and control their emotions.

After my first relationship, even in my second, I found myself still trapped in a sea of sentimental love. Afraid to confront it, I chose to retreat, silently observing. Many times, I longed to meet him, casually and comfortably, like any friend or acquaintance I'd met on the street, but somehow I couldn't.

My emotions took over, leading me to limit communication and visits, and even block social media channels to avoid seeing her.

But little did I know, many nights while driving around, I unknowingly drove down those old lanes. Sometimes I'd suddenly realize I'd just driven past one of those alleyways.

In reality, many people maintain friendships with their exes. Perhaps they are strong and rational enough to face the situation without embarrassment. Or perhaps they are civilized and mature enough to see that ending a relationship isn't such a terrible thing. As for me, am I perhaps weak and sentimental in my own way of loving and thinking?

A friend who is a psychologist told me that there is no right or wrong way to deal with emotions. Everyone will heal from their own wounds in their own way.

Some people are strong enough to confront the situation head-on. Others choose to silently endure the pain, waiting for time to heal. But no matter what, you absolutely must not be negative about your emotions, mistreat yourself, or overreact to people from your past.

My friend also said that reconnecting with an ex, if not done skillfully and tactfully, can easily lead to misunderstandings, sometimes very regrettable, especially if the other person has a new partner.

Lingering, interacting, or clinging on will unintentionally cause suffering for both parties and sometimes even endanger oneself, especially when the ex's new partner is jealous.

There are still many good things in life. Somewhere on this Earth, creation is waiting for you to find your perfect match. Be strong and break free from the darkness; find your bright other half that's waiting for you.

What do you think about the fact that you or your spouse still show signs of missing a past relationship? Do you consider interacting with an ex to be normal? Please share your story and feelings by sending it to tto@tuoitre.com.vn. Tuoi Tre Online thanks you.

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