Students devastated by cyberbullying

"The backstabbing really discouraged me and made me not want to go to school; it still happens to me now." This is just one of many stories shared by victims of online bullying on the Facebook page "Online Bullying - It's Not Just for Anyone," which has garnered much attention.

The figure, announced on May 23rd by Ms. Lesley Miller, Deputy Representative of UNICEF in Vietnam, at the workshop "Children in the Digital World - Addressing Risks and Promoting Opportunities," shows that "one in five children and adolescents are bullied online, and alarmingly, three-quarters of them don't know where to seek help." This makes us particularly concerned about this issue. Especially during the summer break, when children are on vacation and spend more time online.

Online bullying is becoming a common phenomenon among high school and college students.

I was bullied because "I thought he looked arrogant."

"I have a close friend from elementary school. When we were in 10th grade, she was bullied, both at school and online. Although I was friends with her, the bullying group didn't do anything to me because I was friends with them before she was bullied. I asked them why they bullied her, and they said, 'We hate her because she has such an arrogant look on her face.' At school, they would glare at her, touch her first, and look for excuses to cause trouble. Once, they took pictures of her and posted them on social media, and the people in that group, as well as unrelated bystanders, all laughed at her. I was really upset, but I couldn't do anything because that group was connected to gangsters," shared a female student on a page for victims of online bullying.

Another parent shared the story of her daughter, who was in 9th grade that year. Always an excellent student with a pretty appearance and a cheerful, sociable personality, she was bullied. One day, after school, the mother discovered scratches on her daughter's hands. The daughter then withdrew into her room, looking constantly sad. Even more worrying, she told her mother, "I don't want to go to school anymore." Talking to her daughter, the mother learned that in class, the girls had been excessively teasing and touching her, even physically assaulting her, filming the bullying, and posting her haircut on social media…

THE DARK SIDE OF ANONYMITY

Having been a victim of online bullying, NUP, a student at the University of Social Sciences and Humanities in Ho Chi Minh City, recounts that in her first year, she and her group members concocted a "scenario" to badmouth each other on Facebook to attract friends to view their coursework. Although they only posted the information on their personal pages, just a few days later, their actions were anonymously attacked with harsh and derogatory language on the university's confession page, which has over 140,000 followers.

Forms of online bullying

According to UNICEF, common forms of cyberbullying include:

Spreading lies about or posting embarrassing photos of someone on social media;

Sending harmful messages or threats through digital platforms, impersonating someone and sending malicious messages to others on their behalf;

Impersonating someone and using their name to send malicious messages to others, either through fake accounts or other fraudulent means.

UNICEF emphasizes that some children struggle to distinguish between playful teasing and online bullying. But if you feel upset or hurt by someone's online behavior that involves you, and you can't get them to stop, you may very well be a victim of online bullying.

Thuy Hang

"Most recently, we were also publicly 'executed' on confession pages for the same reason. Both times attracted a large number of netizens, both familiar and unfamiliar, who supported or defended us. Honestly, this greatly affected my morale; I felt both sad and doubtful about whether what I did was truly wrong. It felt like a playful act with family members turned into the focus of the entire online world," P. said, using a metaphor.

Bullying today manifests itself not only in real life but also on social media.

According to the female student, in her case, the online bullying stemmed solely from personal malice and was fueled by confessions, which created an opportunity for it to "ignite." "The anonymity feature on social media seems to allow anyone to cyberbully others in the name of justice," she said.

P. acknowledged, "Even now, I still don't know who sent the critical post and whether they are close to me," she confessed.

H.D (residing in District 7, Ho Chi Minh City) stated that due to disagreements with some classmates in 10th grade, she was added to a group chat with those involved to endure collective insults. Unless children proactively share the information, D. said it's very difficult for schools and families to know if their children are being bullied online because there are no physical signs and the perpetrators can easily delete evidence with just a few taps on the screen.

"Online bullying is a common phenomenon that can happen to anyone, anywhere. A photo on a Facebook profile, a status update with the 'close friends' feature on Instagram, or a message exchanged on Messenger—if it doesn't align with the recipient's perspective, it can be 'exposed' on social media. And the consequences don't just happen in the virtual space; they directly affect real life," D. stated.

PANICKING AFTER RECEIVING OBSCENE MESSAGES AND PHOTOS

Ms. Nguyen Thi Song Tra, Head of the organizing committee for the S-Project sex education project for children in provinces and cities across Vietnam, still remembers a story from a few years ago when she went to speak to students at a multi-level school in Hanoi about the issue of sexual abuse.

At the end of the session, a sixth-grade girl approached Ms. Song Tra and confided a terrifying story. Out of curiosity and a desire to make new friends, she had started using Facebook. Lacking knowledge about social media, she didn't take precautions against friend requests from strangers and accepted them, frequently messaging an older man on Facebook. Once they became closer, the man repeatedly sent her sexually explicit images and daily asked, "Have you come home from school yet?", "Did any of your friends touch you today?"...

Identifying children who are being bullied online.

How can you recognize if a child is being bullied online? According to Master's degree holder Vuong Nguyen Toan Thien, a psychology expert at the City Children's Hospital, parents can first observe if their child exhibits negative emotions, fear, or stress when using social media.

However, not many cases are easily recognizable. Online bullying can have negative effects on a child's mental health. Parents can observe the following four factors:

Thoughts: Children often have thoughts and words complaining about being threatened, bullied, slandered, or attacked by others, or they may have low self-esteem, feel bad, or ashamed…

Emotions: experiencing prolonged feelings of anxiety, sadness, stress, or anger, especially when using or mentioning social media.

Behaviors include: children constantly checking social media or suddenly stopping the use of social media and internet-connected devices (phones, computers, etc.); changes in eating and sleeping habits; self-harming or suicidal behavior.

Related factors include: children frequently skipping school, refusing to attend classes; and declining academic performance.

Thuy Hang

Later, he even sent the girl selfies of his sensitive body parts and asked her to take selfies and send them to him. Confused, scared, and feeling that something was wrong, the girl unfriended him, deleted all messages, and dared not use Facebook anymore.

According to the founder and head of the S-Project sex education project for children, it's not only girls who are victims of sexual abuse through words, messages, and online images, but many male students and teenagers are also victims.

(to be continued)

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